Mama SRL

When I started the day today, I just got in my pants and started my morning walk. It was amazing time, great for trainers and the pace was good that I made it back home in time. The holiday spirits were not all crazy. Then I had my shower and got into my working clothes. The day started out great.

FACE YOUR FEARS

During lunch I ran out driving for some last minute shopping. When I started driving I felt the anxiety of getting out of my usual routine. I was afraid of departing from my computer and doing things outside the ordinary. I faced my fears and kept on going. I have to say I did take care of all things urgent in the first part of the day and also took time to develop on the latest happenings at work. So from a professional perspective I was not behind. I was actually on time. Yet this running around with a deadline of meeting Saint Nick’s expectations, the anxiety was chasing me. Facing my fears felt impossible. I struggled to get to the shop and pick up the listed things.

LUCKY ME

I was lucky that I found everything right on time. Well, almost everything, but we are never perfect. I learned to lower my expectations and understand that sometimes we are just chasing the rabbit and the rabbit should have his peaceful life for a few more days and we can live off veggies. This is a metaphor which I have learned this week it’s not something easily embraced by all people. I used to hate that we would need to identify metaphors back in school, but now I live and breathe them. You see? Facing fears may bring up a very good thing in the end: learning. 

BUYING AHEAD

You may bring up the simple solution: why not buy ahead of time? True! I could do that. But the truth is we change our wishes as we develop. And everyday we learn to be a better person and drive our lives into a different direction. It may be that I didn’t find the desired Apple EarPods for my husband, but I did get him something for him to know that I have thought of him. On the other hand, in a society which has so many choices, we are no longer waiting for something good to happen. We make it happen. And the now is actually what needs to drive us to a better self and a better world. I could have postponed this gift to later in the day and add more pressure on my shoulders, while in reality the truth is what my son and husband need from me is actually for me to be present. 

ANXIETY

Whenever you feel this fear of getting out of the routine, go ahead and face it. It’s never something wrong that happened to us because we changed the route, but because we stayed on the same route. In a way, it’s normal not to go ahead and continue the routine. Think about predators: if they learn your routine, they can find you. If you change the route, they may not find you. Of course, you might also bump into them directly. But that’s what makes us better. Changing, doing things different and learning as we move along how we can be better. 

THE PLAN

If you go out and you have a plan, let the mindset be that you will get things done by reaching there, getting that and the accomplishment of doing it all. If you have a deadline, you start by doing things, not blocking yourself that there is a dead end and if you reach there, your job is done. Or even worse if you don’t reach there, you don’t trust yourself, so your job is over. It’s quite tricky, but we need to tame our minds everyday and walk into the simple positive thinking. You can do it and you will do it

LOST NEEDS AND DESIRES

Also, on my way to checklist Santa’s list, I remembered all the needs and desires I was putting off. I don’t have time. The place is too far. There are too many people chasing the same thing. It’s very crowded these days. Come on! Just get out there and you may just discover there are endless things that go right. And just a few that go wrong: no Apple EarBuds. And hell, there’s so much more that we can overcome, why not this Apple EarBuds issue? Do you think my husband doesn’t already have so many things to use instead of the EarBuds? He does. For him it would just be a spoil. And if the Apple Store ran out of this item, then all men out there are spoiled except mine. That makes him so much more special. 

GRATITUDE

My mother called me up and told me she was disappointed my son did not appreciate the gift she told him Saint Nick gave her to give to him. The child bluntly said he doesn’t believe her. Oh, wow! He is so grown up! Actually the idea is the child is used to a different mindset. He is asking for things at the moment. He is expected to be surprised, not chased for choices and then to have him wait for solutions. I mean hold your horses is literally not for this generation. Also, the celebration itself is not one to be owned by grandparents, parents and all relatives. It’s a celebration of love and being present. It’s actually about how you travel from one corner to another to meet the loved ones.

How about changing this mindset into a beautiful one?

How about you leave your cave and get to the other side of the forest to find the ones you love? How about we give this a chance? How about we use the occasion to actually feel better? Can you imagine primitive men roaming around the forest in full winter during this day? It would have been absolute chaos among the animals. Every rabbit would raise his ears and wonder what is coming up. He would expect the world to move in the daytime, not at night time. And if all the world is suddenly roaming around the forest, something is definitely wrong. And the poor rabbit would come out thinking something bad is coming. It would become a well deserved treat for all roaming around. Mankind would come together in a lovely feast and the rabbit would have become a victim of its own fears. Mankind would survive another day just because they all came out at once in unity. In the big city probably only rats and pigeons would be disturbed by our roaming. We would not hunt them and they would probably be used to ignore us already.

So you see? Celebrations are not about expectations, but about surprises and taking quick action, following your heart and walking/driving/flying to wherever you are needed. Don’t expect gratitude unless you are constantly part of it!

KEY LEARNINGS

We, as mothers, have to choose what we are celebrating:

1. The Celebration of Expectations: Chasing perfection, hunting for sold-out items, and creating a mountain of gifts that generate momentary joy but long-term consumerist habits.
2. The Celebration of Presence: Letting go of the checklist, creating memories, and being genuinely available to witness the joy.

The photo in this article is created by Gemini with a simple prompt.