Mama SRL

This comes from a different angle of the society. I remember the days when our grandparents used to call themselves attached to the roots. It was always very vague in my mind. I don’t really feel attached to places. I love traveling. I also love coming back to people. Coming home to a beautiful empty house is not really my ideal. But these days I finally realised what my grandmother was talking about. She was mentioning roots as being the people neighboring the home. People used to ask for help. People would get help. Friendships used to be ships, not opportunities.They would build friendships, they would hold on to relationships, they would swim to reach another ship. Nowadays people find opportunities. How many old friends do you have? How many old people do you visit? How many lessons do you learn from the new opportunities? How many things in common do you have?

And I realize the roots my grandmother was talking about were actually roots to the ground and place they were inhabiting. They would be born in a society where they had neighbors they knew and they would bring each other small gifts. Food was always shared. Good or bad, it was always a reason for joy. When you were coming home, you would be kindly surprised by a neighbor who has baked something good. And neighbors were also family friends. I mean my grandmother had relatives and friends living next door. They had sons and daughters who would speak with her son. That is called -ships. Nowadays I run into multiple opportunities. Whether I find mothers with problems just like mine, whether I find foreigners who want to learn more about my culture or simple people who want a kind word, I find them. I see opportunities for friendships everywhere. But my grandmother had friends and their kids would be friends. My father is very happy to have found his childhood friend. You know why? Because you used to play in the dirt and nothing would matter. That person has seen you for who you really are. They know you for sure. That is friendship. Yes, people judge you whether you are a friend or an acquaintance. Judging is our middle name. It’s not just us. It’s all cultures in the world. Have you ever seen someone minding their own business? No, I haven’t. 

And I realize the good thing about roots is that when you meet again you don’t have anything to share besides the good news. You used to fight over toys? Well, now you have tones of toys lying around and making sure they are latest generation. You used to wear out toys and clothes and then you would share them. Because people didn’t have the luxury. They simply had to fight over one object. The struggle has not parted you from the ship. It’s the seek of opportunities that has parted you from the true meaning of love and life. People used to grow in true communities where they would build roots and grow seeds for ideas and life. Community would take part in their education and sometimes with the good and sometimes with the bad vibes, but it would be an input. And I write these words because I finally make sense of words like neighbor, relative, acquaintance, friend and above all, childhood. My grandmother would often refer to her neighbors as models. We refer to strangers as models. We name communities gathering of lots of strangers. We don’t really know many people in the community, but we seem to belong to it. And we forget to identify ourselves with our true selves. That was the meaning of growing up and catching roots. You would find your identity. You seem a lot like your mother, like your granny, like a friends and so on. It was the normal way to compare. Now it’s something wrong. I find the current trend as wrong. Where are you getting your learnings from? From the models you can’t even meet? From the people you meet as strangers in your work place? Do you even know how they really are? What they have to offer? Do they know what is wrong with them?

Yes, memories are grown together. They are not grown individually or surrounded by strangers. . Friendship is about together. Opportunity is about meeting strangers who talk to you on the street. It’s easy to care for a short moment. It’s hard to hold on to a ship for a longer time. And friendship is one thing I haven’t yet learned to cherish. I am the traveler who holds on the real ships, not the -ships. This is something I am trying to make differently as I am healing some deep forgotten childhood wounds. None of us is better, none of our kids are special. They are adorable because they are ours. Our parents are not perfect or less than others. They are the best parents for us. And accepting such simple truth makes one grow deeper into roots. Try to find your true and old friendships and catch up with them. It’s never too late to change opportunities for friendship. 

Sursa foto: pexels.