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breastfeeding

Alaptarea

S

tiu ca acest articol o sa imi aduca o gramada de comentarii, dar iata ca am o parere despre alaptare. In primul rand cred ca tine foarte mult de alegerea mamei si presiunea societatii nu ar trebui sa conteze. Alaptarea este o optiune la fel ca sarcina si optiunea de nastere. Am un copil perfect sanatos si imi place sa ii prepar laptele inca de cand era mic. Si da, nu am alaptat copilul la san. Nici copilul nu a avut rabdare, si nici eu nu am vazut necesar sa tin copilul atarnat de mine urland de foame. Imi place ca are o fire independenta si vrea sa fie asa. Ca mama am simtit foamea lui ca fiind mai puternica decat dorinta mea de a deveni eroina. Imi place ca el este si foarte hotarat cand vrea sa obtina ceva incat sa te manipuleze in directia dorita.

Dar sa revenim la povestea alaptarii. Bun, am ajuns la spital si pana sa intru in operatie am primit o serie de pliante. Am decis sa le citesc si inca de atunci se aplica presiune asupra mamei: noi sustinem alaptarea. Apoi dupa nastere si revenirea din anestezie, apar asistentele cand tu inca te dezmeticesti si incerci sa iti dai seama cum te vei dezumfla, si iti povestesc despre alaptare. Apoi vine copilul care e tare dragut si care doarme mult. Dar la un moment dat incepe sa se trezeasca si face grimase. Si atunci apar asistentele care iti explica in toate felurile posibile cum sa pui copilul la san, te “ajuta” chiar intr-un mod dureros. Dupa a treia persoana care a venit sa imi faca acest instructaj, abia asteptam sa fug din spital si sa scap de acest penibil obicei. Este unul din motivele foarte serioase pentru care am ales si operatia de cezariana. Nu suport si ma inhiba maxim sa imi sara niste straini in ajutor cu sfaturi si galagie. Lasati mama sa se descurce cu puiul. Sunt convinsa ca daca interactionezi cu calm cu cel mic si nu esti stresat lucrurile ies mai bine. In fine, am ajuns acasa si acolo incepe presiunea restului familiei. Nu, nu faci copilul pentru ei. Faci copilul pentru tine si pentru partener. Si de fapt faci un copil pentru ca asta simti tu sa faci. Dar problema cu alaptatul provine din urmatoarea mea idee: nu suport sa depinda cineva de mine sau sa depind eu de cineva. Nu ma desconsider pentru ca nu am reusit sa alaptez copilul. Am incercat sa ma mulg si sanii mei nu produceau intr-o zi nici cat lapte bea copilul la o masa. Deci ar fi fost stupid si inutil sa continui cu acest chin. Cred ca sunt o mama foarte ok si am o parere foarte buna despre mine in continuare.

Sfatul meu este sa nu va mai laudati sau lamentati atat ca ati reusit sa nu sa alaptati. Ganditi-va mai bine cat de fericit a fost copilul vostru. Eu am vazut multi copii alaptati extrem de nefericiti si frustrati. De cate ori a urlat copilul vostru si cat de des? Al meu nu a plans niciodata de foame. A avut mereu greutatea potrivita. Laptele i-a venit mereu la timp. Si a fost complicat sa trecem la diversificare intrucat lapticul lui era masa cea mai importanta. Si este un copil perfect sanatos. 

Eu nu m-am gandit prea mult la alaptare si ca sa fiu sincera poate de aceea nici fiul meu nu a incercat prea tare sa suga. Am incercat cateva zile si nu s-a intamplat. Nu aveam nicio durere de sani sau sa simt ca imi explodeaza sanii si nu produceam suficient lapte, deci chinuiala era inutila. Si chimia dintre noi s-a produs chiar daca eu nu l-am alaptat. Fiul meu este foarte sanatos. Nu ma simt deloc vinovata pentru ca nu am facut asta. Sunt sigura ca vor fi multe femei care ma vor judeca pentru asta. Dar pentru cele care nu au alaptat, tineti minte ca nu sunteti cu nimic mai prejos ca mame sau femei pentru ca nu ati alaptat. 

Exista voci care spun ca in felul asta se creaza legatura cu copilul. Ei bine, fiul meu ma recunoaste foarte bine ca fiind mama lui. Si as vrea sa stiu cu ce sunt mai prejos pentru ca nu am alaptat? A dovedit cineva ca lipsa alaptarii influenteaza dezvoltarea? Ei bine, nu. Toate studiile sunt la fel de incomplete in privinta alaptarii ca si in privinta lipsei ei. Cunosc un baietel care nu a fost alaptat niciodata si care a crescut extrem de bine si de atasat de mama lui. Acum imi doresc sa mai fi trait mama lui ca sa putem dezbate acest subiect. A, si acel tanar este cel mai bun copil pe care il stiu eu. Adica ascultator si docil. Si a recunoscut mereu ca mama lui este autoritatea. Va dati seama ca foamea este nevoia lor primara in primele luni de viata? Va dati seama cat de frustrat este copilul daca tu insisti sa fii eroina si el nu primeste ce trebuie? Poate ca ar trebui cantarit mai bine acest aspect. 

Breastfeeding

I know this article will bring me a lot of negative comments, but here is my opinion on breastfeeding. First of all I believe it is mother’s choice and the society’s pressure should not matter. Breastfeeding is an option just like pregnancy or how to give birth. I have a perfectly healthy child and I like to prepare his milk since he was a newborn. And yes, I have not breastfed. The baby didn’t have enough patience and I didn’t feel necessary to keep a baby attached to me yelling of hunger. I love he is a very independent individual and I prefer it to stay that way. As a mother I always felt his hunger was way stronger than my wish to become a hero mom. I love him for being so ambitious to manipulate to get what he wants.

But coming back to breastfeeding. So, I arrived at the hospital and before entering the operating room I received a bunch of fliers. I decided to read them and I felt the pressure on me as a future mom: we support breastfeeding. Then after birth and coming out of the anestetics, there are nurses while you are still trying to figure out to deflate, and they start telling you about breastfeeding. Then the baby is brought to you and he is very cute and he sleeps a lot. But at some point he starts waking up and he starts making faces. And then the nurses show up to explain all possible way of attaching the baby to the breast, “helping” out in a quite painful way. After the third person doing this exercise, I couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital and get away from this horrible practice. It is one of the serious reasons I chose to have a C-section. I cannot stand and it blocks me terribly to have some strangers jumping in for help with advices and loud voices. Let the mother handle the baby.  I am very certain if you interact with calm with the little one and you are not stressed things turn out better. Anyway, I arrived home and there the family pressure begins. No, you are not having the baby for them. You are having the baby for yourself and your partner. And actually you are having a baby because you feel to do so. But the breastfeeding problem comes from the following idea: I cannot stand someone to depend on my or me to depend on someone. I cannot disconsider myself for not managing to breastfeed. I tried the breast pump but my breasts were not producing in one day what the baby was eating once. So it would have been stupid and useless to continue this torment. I believe I am a very good mom and I still have a good opinion of myself.

My advice is not to brag or pity yourself that you made it or not to breastfeed. Think better of how happy your baby truly is. I have seen breastfed babies who were extremely moody and unhappy. How many times did you child yell and how often? Mine never cried of hunger. He always weight just right. Milk always came on time. And it was really complicated to go to regular food as his milk was his most important meal. And he is a perfectly healthy child.

I didn’t think too much about this thing and to be honest maybe that’s why my son didn’t even try it. I tried it for several days and it didn’t happen. He didn’t suck on my breast and I didn’t have any pain or anything in my breast, so no use continuing the hassle. And the chemistry happened even if I didn’t breastfeed him. My son is very healthy. And I don’t really feel guilty for not having done this. I am pretty sure there will be a lot of women judging me for this. But for those who won’t please remember you are not less of a mother or women if you haven’t breastfeed.

THere are voices who say this is how the bond between mother and child comes to life. Well, my son recognizes me as his mom. And I wish to know what makes me less of a mom because I didn’t breastfeed? Has anyone proven the lack of breastfeeding influences development? Well, no. All studies are as incomplete about breastfeeding as the lack of it. I know a little boy turned in a man who was never breastfed and he grew up extremely healthy and strongly attached to his mom. Now I wish his mom would still be alive so we could chat about the subject. Oh, and the young man is the best kid I know, meaning obedient and docile. And he always saw his mom as the authority. Do you realize hunger is their basic need during their first months? Can you imagine how frustrating is for the kid if you insist in being a hero mom and he doesn’t receive his basic need? Maybe this aspect should be better weighed.

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