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construim sau pastram traditii

Construim sau pastram traditii?

Fiind o fire rebela si non-conformista am cam evitat traditiile o buna perioada din viata mea. Apoi am inteles ca sunt suficient de mare sa decid ce fac si am inceput sa imi construiesc singura traditiile cu prietenii si colegii de scoala. Viata ne-a purtat ulterior pe drumuri diferite si am concluzionat ca exista traditii de familie si traditii pe care le construiesti pe drum. Unele se pierd, altele care se pastreaza, dar cel mai important este ca ele sa fie ce simtim noi. Indiferent daca vrem sa construim sau sa pastram traditii, trebuie sa facem ce simtim ca ne reprezinta. 

Si acum sa intru un pic in detalii. Nu sunt adepta traditiilor pentru ca de cele mai multe ori amintirea sarbatorilor acasa insemnau o agitatie si o galagie pe care nu o suportam. Adica nu am inteles niciodata aceasta preocupare obsesiva pentru hrana pe care o punem traditional pe masa. Si de aceea am decis inca din adolescenta ca e momentul sa schimb ceva. Am avut noroc caci multi din colegii mei au imbratisat sa nu mai consume carne de porc, decizie pe care o imbratisasem si eu. Aceasta decizie ne-a indepartat de toate acele preparate greoaie de Craciun. Craciunul era de obicei despre zapada asa ca am cautat mereu sa gasim locuri de poveste unde sa stam la povesti si sa nu ne pese atat de mult de sarmale, friptura, salata de beouf si alte bunataturi trudite traditional. Apoi am inceput si sarbatorile pascale sa le facem undeva departe de aceasta agitatie din ograda. Da, mie mi se parea mereu ca familia devenea un cotet de gaini si toate alergau haotic fara un scop foarte precis. Am parasit ograda ca sa nu imi pierd mintile. Aceasta agitatie nu insemna nimic facut din suflet, cu simtire, era acelasi lucru cu o obligatie de birou, un orgoliu de crestere in cariera. Mai mult, era mereu o intrecere cine face sarmale mai bune, mai moi, mai mari, mai cu cimbru sau fara cimbru si tot asa. Discutii care ma oboseau si imi consumau aiurea atentia. Asta nu e traditie. Asta e o obsesie si o incercare de intarire a propriului orgoliu. Iubesc tare mult zile de liniste, de sarbatoare in tihna, de o felie de cozonac primita cu inima deschisa si nu de frigiderul plin care sta sa pice pe noi cand il deschidem si pe care nu stim cum sa il devoram si apoi irosim mancarea aruncand-o. O traditie nu trebuie sa fie plina de haos, de agitatie, de orgolii si interese mai presus decat insasi ideea de a petrece in tihna cu cei apropiati. Asta imi doream si asta am cautat. Am avut noroc ca am gasit cercul de oameni cu care sa plec din vacarmul asta nesabuit. 

Apoi l-am intalnit pe el. Si de atunci s-au schimbat lucrurile. Intre timp familia a suferit si niste pierderi. Nu mai erau oamenii cu care sa te intreci in merindele realizate. O liniste se asternea peste sarbatori. Am decis sa incerc cativa ani acest tip de sarbatoare. Am vrut sa vad daca s-a schimbat ceva din ce stiam eu ca inseamna sarbatoare in familie. Intrucat bolile specifice varstei incepusera sa isi spuna cuvantul in cazul parintilor, nici gatelile nu mai erau atat de multe si grele. Si uite asa am stiut ca urmeaza sa ma asez la casa mea. Am decis ca e momentul sa ne construim singuri traditiile si sa imbratisam deciziile luate de a sta linistiti si de a nu face vreo bravura din masa de sarbatori, oricare ar fi acea sarbatoare. Am invatat ca acele zile libere sunt pentru vizite daruite sau primite si pentru tihna. Apoi a aparut cel mic si am invatat sa pretuim si mai mult momentele de liniste sau cand stam cu el. Sigur ca exista si weekenduri sau alte zile libere, dar vremea aceea de sarbatoare cu linistea orasului este nepretuita. Conteaza mult sa iti plimbi copilul pe strazi libere. Ce bine a fost si in perioada starii de urgenta cand strazile erau asa de putin circulate si cand stateam amandoi acasa cu copilul! Aceasta tihna ne ajuta sa ne reincarcam bateriile si sa imbratisam orice noua provocare ar veni. Acum copilul invata si el ce inseamna anumite obiceiuri, masa “traditionala” de Craciun sau Paste si tot ce mai construim impreuna. 

Traditia familiei noastre pleaca in primul rand de la armonie si de la dorinta de a ne simti bine. Asa ca am decis ca daca avem chef sa gatim o facem si ne-a si reusit, daca nu avem chef sa facem asta, putem comanda. Avem cateva locuri de unde putem comanda si unde gasim mancaruri potrivite pentru gusturile noastre. Fiecare sarbatoare vine cu cozonacii absolut geniali de la Ana Pan. Si anul acesta cu starea de urgenta care impunea sa facem comanda online am pus comanda cu cateva zile inainte de sarbatoare si am ales livrare cu o zi inainte de Pasti. Comanda a fost proaspata si foarte buna, deci nu ne plangem. Mancaruri care ne plac pentru masa de Craciun sau de Pasti sau fara ocazie gasim la Graffiti Urban Food, la Mama si la toate “suratele” sale. Uneori dorim sa ne rasfatam cu mancaruri internationale si daca avem pofta de japonez,  libanez sau indian alegem din meniul restaurantelor Yoshi, Mezze sau Taj. Acestea sunt doar cateva exemple despre solutiile gasite pentru mesele in familia noastra care sa ne si tihneasca.

Am vrut sa scriu acest articol intrucat de curand am urmarit impreuna cu fiul meu un filmulet scurt din seria Frozen – Aventurile lui Olaf – si mi-am adus aminte despre cat de linistita este familia mea si cat de relaxant este asa. Si cred ca traditia trebuie construita intr-o familie tinand cont de dorintele tuturor. Poate sunt lucruri cu care vine fiecare sau doar unul din cei doi, dar tocmai asta inseamna sa construiesti o istorie impreuna si sa duci mai departe o mostenire. Asa vad eu ca ar trebui sa fie. Familia inseamna traditii, dar cel mai important este ca familia inseamna simtire si de aceea aceste traditii trebuie sa fie in spiritul amandurora care o formeaza. Apoi copiii vor veni si vor prelua sau nu aceste lucruri. Cam asa s-a asezat lumea cand traieste din suflet. Si cam asta cautam toti cand incercam sa spunem ca ne-am asezat la casa noastra. Tihna ar trebui sa fie cea mai importanta traditie. 

Do We Keep Or Make Our Own Traditions?

Being a rebellious and non-conformist person, I kind of avoided traditions for a good period of my life. Then I realized that I was old enough to decide what to do and I started to build my own traditions with my friends and schoolmates. Life has taken us on different paths after school was over but I have drawn the conclusion that there are family traditions and traditions that you build on the road. Some are lost along the way, others are preserved, but the most important thing is that they are a reflection of how we feel to act. Whether we keep or make our own traditions, it’s important to feel right about what we put on repeat.

And now to go a little bit into a detailed explanation. I am not a follower of traditions because most of the time the memory of the holidays at home meant an agitation and a noise that I could not bear. I mean, I never understood this obsessive concern for the food we traditionally put on the table. And that’s why I decided since adolescence that it’s time to change something. I was lucky because many of my colleagues embraced the idea to stop eating pork, a decision I had also embraced. This decision took us away from all those hard work traditional Christmas dishes. Christmas should be about snow so we always tried to find fairytale places to sit and talk and not care so much about stuffed cabbage, steak, beef salad and other traditional goodies. Then we started to celebrate the Easter holidays somewhere far from this hustle and bustle in the yard. Yes, it always seemed to me that the family was becoming a chicken coop and they were all running chaotically without a very precise purpose. I left the yard so I would not lose my mind. This agitation meant nothing made from the heart, with feeling, it was the same thing with an office obligation, a pride of career growth. Moreover, it was always a competition about who makes better, softer, bigger, more with thyme or without thyme stuffed cabbage and so on. These discussions used to tire me out and consumed my attention in vain. This is not a tradition. This is an obsession and an attempt to strengthen one’s pride. I really love days of peace, a quiet holiday, a slice of cake received with an open heart and not of the full refrigerator that is about to explode on us and which we do not know how to devour and then we waste it by throwing it out. A tradition must not be full of chaos, agitation, pride and interests above the very idea of ​​spending time in peace with the close ones. That’s what I wanted and that’s what I was looking for. I was lucky to find the circle of people who would love to leave this reckless noise also.

Then I met him. And things have changed since then. In the meantime, the family also suffered some losses. There were no more people to compete with for the dishes. There was silence over the holidays. I decided to try this type of holiday for a few years. I wanted to see if anything had changed from what I knew was a family holiday. As age-specific illnesses began to speak for my parents, dishes were no longer so heavy. And that’s how I knew I was going to settle down. We decided that it was time we build our own traditions and to embrace the decisions like spending relax time and not to do any bravado out of the holiday table, whatever that holiday may be. I learned that those days off are for visits given or received and for peace. Then the little one appeared and we learned to appreciate even more the silent moments and when we are with him. Of course there are weekends or other days off, but that holiday season with the quiet of the city is priceless. It is very important to walk your child on open streets. How good it was during the state of emergency when the streets had such little traffic and we were both staying home with the child! This calmness helps us recharge our batteries and embrace any new challenge that may come. Now the child also learns what certain habits mean, the traditional Christmas or Easter meal and everything else we build together.

Above all our family’s tradition starts from harmony and the desire to feel good. So we have decided to cook only if we feel like it and we have done it successfully, but if we don’t feel like it, we can order. We have a few places from where we can order and where we find suitable dishes for our tastes. Each celebration brings the fabulous cakes from Ana Pan. And this year, since the emergency state was declared and we had to order exclusively, we have placed the Easter order to be delivered right before the Holiday. The order was fresh and very good, so we cannot complain. Christmas or Easter or any other occasion meals we can find at Graffiti Urban Food, La Mama or all its “companions”. Sometimes we wish to spoil ourselves with international foods and if we feel like Japanese, Lebanese or Indian we order from Yoshi, Mezze or Taj. These are just a few examples of the solutions we found for the holiday dinners in our family so we can all enjoy.

I wanted to write this article because I recently watched with my son a short video from the Frozen series – The Adventures of Olaf – and I remembered how quiet my family is and how relaxing it is. And I think the tradition must be built in a family taking into account everyone’s wishes. Maybe there are things that each or only one of the two comes with, but that is exactly what it means to build a history together and carry on a legacy. That’s how I see it should be. Family means traditions, but the most important thing is that family means feeling and that is why these traditions must be in the spirit of both of us. Then the children will come and follow these traditions or not. This is how the world settled when life is lived from the heart. And that’s what we all look for when we try to say that we have settled down. Peace should be the most important tradition.

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