Mama SRL

Tocmai au avut loc examenele nationale pentru admitere in liceu si absolvirea liceului dupa o perioada de lucru de acasa si scoala online, anul acesta rata de promovabilitate a fost destul de mica, subiectele si corectura au fost si ele controversate. Asa mi-am dat seama cat de putine lucruri s-au schimbat de pe vremea mea. Teoretic trebuie sa fii mai mare si mai destept, dar se pare ca sistemul educational pe masura ce imbatraneste devine doar mai subred. Adica tehnica de realizare a subiectelor si de corectare a lucrarilor nu a avansat foarte mult. Da, unele subiectele sunt usoare, altele sunt dificile. Foarte putini dintre noi se mai pot pune in pielea unui copil de 14/15 sau 18/19 ani. Si asta pentru ca acum ni se pare ca putem rezolva anumite subiecte fluierand. Spun asta pentru ca am trecut pe acolo si pentru ca abia acum la 38 de ani si vazand cum se dezvolta fiul meu reusesc sa inteleg diferenta intre o gandire matura asupra unor intamplari simple de viata si mecanismul de intelegere a unui copil. Nu insinuez ca e gresit sa nu ai experienta de viata ca sa poti intelege o situatie precum un adult, spun doar ca noi ca parinti si profesorii cu maturitatea lor trebuie sa avem toti rabdare si intelegere pentru acesti copii. As vrea sa inteleaga si batranii ca viitorul lor nu mai este unul atat de important precum cel al tinerilor, dar ca acesti tineri reusesc sa vada lumea cu mult mai multa serenitate si bucurie decat au putut ei vreodata. Acestia stiu sa ocroteasca, sa ingrijeasca si sa apere multe dintre lucrurile pe care noi sau parintii nostri nu am fost educati sa o facem. Poate sunt printre putinii preocupati de mai bine de 25 de ani de reciclare si personal consider ca e important sa acordam atentie oricarui petec de speranta pe care il avem in jurul nostru. Orice copac sta in calea fericirii noastre, poate fi de fapt ocolit, nu taiat. Orice tentativa a unui tanar de a salva planeta printr-o fapta buna trebuie incurajata nu descurajata cu vorbele unei persoane blazate. Si da, consider ca trebuie sa imbatranim frumos si sa intelegem cum optimismul si inocenta ne vor ajuta mereu sa fim mai buni. 

Pana aici e teoria mea referitoare la puterea de sacrificiu pe care noi si batranii ar trebui sa o aratam si sa inlaturam dorinta de ingenunchere a tineretului. Totul a pornit de la o emisiune de televiziune in care s-a discutat problema greselii la corectura unei lucrari la matematica. Adica o fetita a facut semipareza pentru ca in loc sa i se dea bine-meritatul 10, a fost notata cu 6. Abia in urma unei contestatii a obtinut nota corecta. Ei bine, declaratia socanta a fost ca de fapt pana acum inspectorii acopereau astfel de erori si nu recunosteau daca existau niste diferente. Si imi amintesc cand am terminat eu liceul si am avut examenul de bacalaureat si a fost un haos la corectura lucrarilor intrucat profesoarele venite de la un liceu foarte slab din capitala nu au reusit sa inteleaga sau sa interpreteze baremul. Am facut si eu contestatie la limba romana unde o doamna profesoara m-a sfidat si mi-a spus ca nu am nicio sansa sa castig mergand mai departe cu contestatia. Si in naivitatea unui tanar care a trait si constrangerile unei puteri intimidante si libertatea anarhica din care nu a inteles foarte bine care ii sunt drepturile, am renuntat sa merg mai departe cu contestatia. Ei bine, in aceeasi vara am intrat la Facultatea de Litere si daca as fi sfidat si eu ineptiile doamnei care imi arata manualul si imi spunea ca de aceea nu mi-a punctat deloc un subiect, as fi avut ceva mai putine frustrari astazi. Am invatat dupa reusita la facultate ca notele nu reflecta niciodata realitatea, iar interpretarea baremelor este extrem de subiectiva, mai ales cand doamna respectiva nu stia ca exista cuvantul “literal” in limba romana. Probabil si doamnele care au corectat lucrarile de anul acesta erau la fel de nepregatite ca si doamna profesoara de romana care zicea ca nu exista acel cuvant. Totusi atitudinea aceasta intimidanta si sfidatoare nu trebuie tolerata niciodata cand vine vorba de un profesor in 2020.

Tot din exemplele mele din scoala imi dau seama de importanta interpretarii de catre un copil a temei. Am trait cu totii orele de lucru manual si de desen in care parintii sau fratii mai mari erau artizanii temelor de acasa. Si da, am avut perioada in care parintii scriau compuneri, pictau si faceau teme. Ei bine, ai mei m-au lasat sa fac eu ce stiu si ce pot. Si am fost un elev mediocru. Abia in facultate am gasit profesori care sa inteleaga si sa aprecieze scrierile mele cu ironie si critica. Parintii mei au intervenit totusi sa isi dea cu parerea in privinta unei compuneri, in timp util, in anul fatidic 1989 cand am transpus o fila de jurnal despre vacanta la mare. Nu era mare lucru in neregula cu compunerea intr-o societate democratica, dar intr-o societate comunista in care libertatile cetateanului sunt extrem de restranse, era o situatie grava. De ce? Pentru ca in acel an venise “unchiu’ din America” si desi roman pana de curand, proaspatul detinator de pasaport american a fost cazat intr-un hotel pentru straini. Si pentru ca el avea acces in locurile destinate pentru straini am avut si noi acces in acele locuri. Va dati seama ca pentru mine a fost cea mai impresionanta vacanta. Nu am inteles nimic din mersul la mare, dar din restaurante, discoteca si spectacole, am retinut tot fiind impresionata de lumini, de muzica, de spectacol. De fapt cred ca de pe atunci imi doream sa fiu si eu seful peste acel miraj. Ai mei m-au oprit la timp inainte sa bag toata familia in bucluc. Dar eu personal am simtit ca nu ma reprezinta deloc acea compunere seaca. Nici nu am vrut sa prezint clasei scrierea. Si ma gandesc acum ca invatam sa avem un caiet cu expresii frumoase si sa le folosim in astfel de relatari. La naiba! Eu voiam sa spun tot ce am vazut, cum mi s-a parut mie, nu sa povestesc cum a fost sa merg la mare sau la munte si ce peisaje superbe am sesizat. Niciun copil nu va observa minunatia frunzelor toamna. Toti vor dori sa spuna despre balaceala din mare, despre minigolf, despre jocuri si alte lucruri care pentru adulti pot parea simple.

Apoi, cativa ani mai tarziu, am avut o profesoara extrem de pretentioasa la desen. Asta intr-un ciclu gimnazial in care ni se cereau picturi cat mai frumoase. Si am avut trei teme pe care le-am tratat diferit pana cand mi-am gasit curajul: prima un curcubeu a fost realizarea vecinului arhitect si pictor amator extrem de talentat, a doua a fost reprezentarea unor dealuri care a fost corectata de tatal meu, dar de fapt interpretarea mea era apropiata de tema si explicatia data de profesor, asa ca a trebuit sa scot din ghiozdan si varianta mea ca sa iau nota corecta, si ultima care era o masca africana si pe aceasta am decis sa o fac singura fara sa spun parintilor si am avut succes cu ea. Cred ca din toate aceste experiente am invatat treptat sa capat incredere in ce spun si ce inteleg eu. Si acum stiu ca un copil trebuie incurajat sa faca ce considera el ca e bine. Asta pentru ca el isi construieste o personalitate, pentru ca si daca va gresi, va invata si daca va face bine se va simti si mai sigur pe sine. Si cred ca parintii nu trebuie sa controleze temele copiilor. Copiii trebuie sa invete sa aiba incredere in sine prin incercari si erori din care sa invete ceva. Si daca vor gresi, trebuie sa se maturizeze si sa isi asume aceasta greseala, sa invete ce sa faca in alte situatii similare. 

Voi incerca sa il cresc pe fiul meu cu o incredere in sine si cu o imagine de ansamblu asupra situatiei. E important cu cat crestem mai mari sa fim si mai intelepti. Si e important sa intelegem ca atunci cand ne impunem punctul de vedere pentru ca noi suntem mai mari, nu vom castiga nicio batalie. Vom crea niste frustrari inutile unui copil care nu este cu nimic inferior noua. Nu are experienta noastra de viata, dar invata si, pe masura ce invata, poate deveni mai bun ca noi. E important sa intelegem ca nu trebuie ne intrecem cu un copil, dar trebuie sa il iubim si sa il intelegem cu toate reusitele si esecurile lui. 

The national exams for high-school admittance and high-school graduation happened this year after a period of work from home and online tutoring, and the pass percentage was very low, while the exams and correction were very controversial. I see how little things have changed since my days. Technically as you grow older you get wiser, but our educational system seems to get rustier as it earns more experience. That technique for creating the exam questions and for correcting them has not evolved much. Yes, some subjects are apparently accessible, others have a higher degree of difficulty. Very few of us can try to get in the shoes of a 14/15 year old or a 18/19 year old kid today. And that is because nowadays it may look like easy and nice subjects to us. I am saying that because I had the same impression and because nowadays in my 38 year of life and after seeing how my son is growing bit by bit, I can finally understand the difference between a mature mind and the simple understanding of a kid. I am not saying it is wrong to be unexperienced in life matters so you can understand things like an adult, I am just saying that us, parents, and the teachers with all our maturity must be patient and understanding with these kids. I would like older people to see that their future is no longer as important as the younger ones’ is, as these young people can see the world with a bigger serenity and joy than adults could ever see it. These young ones know to protect and care for things which us or our parents did not learn how to do. I am one of the few preoccupied with recycling for over 25 years and I believe it is important to pay attention to any piece of hope we find around us. Any tree that seems to be in our way, may have a lovely path around it, so there’s no need to cut it down. Any attempt of a young man to save the planet with a good deed must be encouraged, not descouraged by a blased person. And yes, I find we must grow old in a beautiful way and we must understand how optimism and innocence will help us be better. 

This is all my theory for the power of sacrifice that the elders and us should show and to leave aside the wish to put down on their knees the young ones. It all started from a tv show where the mistakes at the national math exams was discussed. So a little girl has semi paralysed because instead of 10 she was graded with 6. After contesting her grade she has been rightfully marked with a 10. Well, the shocking statement was that actually the school inspectors have been covering such errors and would not admit for years. And I remember when I was graduading high-school and there was a whole mess in the grading of the papers as they have sent teachers from a very bad high-school in Bucharest and they couldn’t understand or interpret the grading system. I contested my Romanian language paper grade, where a very defiant teacher told me I don’t stand a chance if I go further with my complain. And in my total distrust in my powers, as a kid raised in both frightening totalitarian society and then the anarchic democracy which doesn’t show one’s true rights very well, I didn’t proceed with my claim. Well, I have passed the Philology School exam and if I was as defiant as her to ignore her wrong explanations with her interpretation of the manual, which were her explanations for not accepting my writing as right, I would have probably had less frustrations today. I have learned, after entering the university, that grades are never a reflection of my knowledge, and the interpretation of the grading system is extremely personal, especially when that lady had no idea „literal” was a Romanian word. Probably those teachers who corrected the papers in 2020 were as clueless as the Romanian teacher stating there was no „literal” word in Romanian back in 2000, but this defiant attitude must no longer be tolerated nowadays.

Another example is about the importance of the interpretation a child gives to a theme. We have all lived the practical courses where parents and big brothers were the makers of the homework. And yes, we had a whole period when parents would make compositions, paint and do homework. Well, my folks have pretty much let me prove what I can do. And I was an average kid. It was only later at the University that I have finally found teachers who would appreciate and understand my ironical and critical mind. My parents have spoken their mind about my holiday composition in time, back in the marking year of 1989, when I have put down a very detailed discription my summer beach vacation. It wasn’t anything wrong with it in a democratic society, but in a communist era where liberties of the citizen were extremely tight, it was very bad. Why? Because it was the year „the American uncle” had come over and although born and raised in Romania, the newly owner of the US passport had been checked-in at a hotel for foreigners and we also had access to places specially open to foreigners. You can imagine for me it was the most impressive vacation. I didn’t understand anything from the summer holiday, but a lot from the restaurants, disco and shows, I remembered everything being impressed with the lights, the music and the show itself. Actually I believe it was back then that I have started wishing to be the head behind the miracle making. My folks stopped me just in time not to put the whole family in jail. But I have personally felt the silly writings replacing the original paper were not my experience. I didn’t even want to read it out to the class. And you can imagine we were taught to keep track of metaphors and comparisons in a special notebook and use them in such compositions. God damn it! I wanted to describe all I have seen, how it looked to me, not to tell some silly non-sense about going to the mountain or the seaside and what lovely landscapes I have seen. No kid will ever notice the beauty of autumn leaves. All kids will want to talk about the swim, the minigolf, the games and other playful things.

Then, years later, I had an extremely severe drawing teacher. This was during the gymnasium, when she was expecting some sort of Picasso from all of us. And I remember three themes I have delt with differently until I found my courage: first it was a rainbow and this was the doing of my very talented architect and amateur painter neighbor, second were some hills which were corrected by my father to a realistic representation, but finally I have chosen to present my vision and it turned out great, and the last one where I have done it on my own from scratch and it was the representation of an African mask which I have done on my own without asking anyone’s opinion and it was a success. I believe from all these experiences I have learned to gain my self trust in what I understand and make. And now I know a kid must be encouraged in what he feels is right to him. That because he builds a personality, because even if he will make a mistake, he will learn and if he is right, he will build self esteem. And I believe parents should not control kid’s homework. Kids should learn to trust themselves through trial and error in order to get the right lesson in life. Even when wrong, they need to grow up and live with their mistake, to learn what to do in the future in similar situations. 

Yes, I am trying to raise my son with a self confidence and with a general image over each situation. It is important the older we get the wiser we become. And it is important to understand that when we try to say we are right because we are older, we won’t win any battle. We will create frustrations for the kid who is not at all inferior to us. He doesn’t have our life experience, but he is learning and as he learns he may become even better than us. It is important to understand that we cannot compete with a child, but we can love and understand him with all his success and failure.